#empowered

Wow, what a word!

 Empowered....to give power or authority to. To enable or permit.

I can honestly say that the last four years of my life I blurred this definition.  I gave authority to fear, worry, weakness, self-doubt.  I did not stand by my faith and take security in my God.  Granted, I didn't blatantly deny God but I definitely did not listen as best I should be.

This week, I am beginning to see this word in a whole new light.  The dreams, goals and anticipations of life that I put in an imaginary box and packed away four years ago can actually exist.  See, at 35 I wrote myself off.  Sad, I know.  I put on a happy face best I could and I existed.  It sounds so cliche I know because my life was not horrible by any means. A loving husband, amazing kids, a roof over our head. But at the same time, we were going through so much change.  That change hit me hardest of all. So I packed up all my future wants and tried to let them go.

Jump to 2013 when I joined OBS. What a LIFE-changing experience! It has been a journey of healing. Of learning what it is to have HOPE.  Life still has it's ups and downs but that is to be expected.  But at the turn of the New Year as I reflected on all that God has blessed me with and all that 2014 has in store for not only me but my family, I can see hope.

As this study began, I was still wrestling with some issues from A Confident Heart  but He keeps giving me these little winks to know that He is there.  He has reached out to me in ways that I never saw coming.  He's taught me about grace this week.  He's taught me about accountability.  He's clued me in to the fact that yes, I can be empowered! I don't have to let doubt, fear and worry control me.  I can move past my faults. I can accomplish things I NEVER thought I would ( two minute plank today! woohoo!)

I turn 40 this year!
This is MY year!
This is my year to live confidently in my own skin!

I will PRESS ON!!!