Saying #YestoGod (Topic #4)

After joining Melissa Taylor's Online Bible Studies back in Janurary, this is my first attempt at a Blog Hop.  I've been reading over the topic choices the last few hours debating on whether to even attempt this.  Yes, I blog ocassionally but if you have scrolled through my blog at all you see the words have slowly disappeared off the page and it's been all about pictures, songs and quotes.  When filling in my information for becoming a group leader (that's a story in itself right there) I even debated on sharing my blog.  It was me. My words. Nobody reads. Do I dare share it with the world? Yes it's made it's way to the internet but does it really get read?  I've always loved words.  I used to spill them on to paper after paper when I was kid.  Words were an escape for me. My feelings. My thoughts. Right there....on paper.    

As I convinced my self to start typing this post, I settled for  Topic #4, saying #yestoGod.  So you see, my God story starts back a few years but I am only starting to see the true miracle of it here in the passed few weeks.  On Sunday, I officially became a leader to 22 women.  What?  Me, a leader?  Mind you, I have spent many hours doing various activities that included "leading" but none of them ever involved Me and a Bible Study.

Back when my kids were little, I attended my MOPS group at church.  I was at a point in my life where I was really feeling the call to lead.  Not sure what it was in me, but I really wanted to lead a small group of women that year.  I asked. I was turned down.  I wasn't only turned down. I was told by my "sister in Christ" that I was not good enough. I didn't have what it took to be a leader. What?! But I knew I had it in me. I knew I could do it.  I saw the other women around me who had been chosen and lets just say, it stung! It hurt. It was an "all about who you know" situation I was in and I didn't "know" the right people. Sad, but true.  This left a sour taste in my mouth and from that day forward I quietly sat on the back burner and became less involved in any church activity.

Jumping to December 2012,  my life was in need of a rescue.  For the 3 years prior, I had slowly been losing my way from God. I knew he was there. I knew I needed him. But I was angry, sad, hurt, broken....You see, my family suffered greatly from the "Great Recession".  It rocked our world in more ways than one.  At 35, I had felt I lost everything...except my family.  I knew I needed to fix myself.  Three years of avoiding what was right in front of me had to stop.  I needed to put my focus back on God.  I didn't go off the depend or do anything drastic. I just started going through the motions.  I was lost.  I was hurt.

So, that December I decided to do the Daniel Fast. I thought if anything, that would kick start me on where I needed to get back to.  In doing my research before starting I came across an author of a Daniel Fast cookbook who chooses a "word to live by" each new year.  So, I thought about it and came up with "Let It Go".

In perusing Facebook a few days later, I came across an announcement for Melissa Taylor's Online Bible Study through Proverbs 31 and the book was Let It Go.  Wowzers!!! Can you tell someone was trying to get my attention?  I did do the OBS and I LOVED it.  I think I loved it not only because the book was good but because I chose to sign up for the small group which connected me with an amazing group of women and an awesome leader, Stephanie Raquel.  Doing the bible study and also the Daniel Fast, helped to jump start my faith back into actions.  I felt like my head was clear, if that makes sense?

I loved the bible study so much that when they announced the next study, I knew it was for me. Stressed-Less Living  Hello?! As a mother of six, who was trying to hold it all together with a husband in desperate need of a hip replacement and a housing situation that was about to leave us homeless. I knew I needed this one.

At the end of that study, I got an email from Lisa Kramp.  It said my name had been turned in as someone who could possibly be a Group Leader for the newest study, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.  My first thought was this was complete craziness. Me? How can I do this?  I am no where near qualified.  All my thoughts went to that woman who told me I wasn't "good enough".  But at the same time, I had that little inkling of excitement. I could do this, couldn't I?  And then I would go back to, how can I do this when I am still right here in my own struggle finding my way back to the Lord.

Well, let me tell you.  I did get "approved" to be a leader. I am a leader of my original group. Group 47 (You girls ROCK) and I am completely in awe of the "Yes God" moments in my life.  God has got my back in so many ways.  He has given me this opportunity truly as a gift to renew my spirit and share my story with the women around me.   I am not the only one. Which I thought I really was the past four years...So thankful for Proverbs 31 and the women who have touched my life on this journey to truly find myself again ;)

God does not call the qualifed; He qualifies the called